


Difference and Indifference

by bubblygoo



Category: Eyeshield 21
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblygoo/pseuds/bubblygoo
Summary: “Um, uh,” Sena stutters.  “Shin-san, I was wondering... if you’d like to get dinner with us?  We’re getting ramen... there’s a place nearby that’s pretty good.”——Sena tries to ask Shin out on a date.  It doesn’t go well.
Relationships: Kobayakawa Sena/Shin Seijuurou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Difference and Indifference

You have always been different. You’ve known this since you were a child, when you weren’t interested in the same things other children liked, like video games and television shows. Your parents worried that you weren’t making friends, but your grades were good and your teachers never complained. Neither did you. You would admit that childhood was lonely. You don’t enjoy being different. It’s just how you are.

In junior high, you make your first friend, and your best friend, as you would later come to learn. Sakuraba Haruto was different, too, though nobody else seemed to see why. All they could see was his height and his supposed good looks. These facts aren’t lost on you - they just aren’t important.

What matters to you is that Sakuraba turns around and introduces himself to you, without the wariness you so often sense from others. You can tell he is ambitious but he has a good heart. He doesn’t want anything from you other than to be your friend. That is all you care about.

Sakuraba sticks by you, even when he slowly realizes that you are different. And he resents you for it, at first. 

You aren’t ignorant of what people say about you. You would be lying if you said that you didn’t worry that Sakuraba would turn out like the rest, content to leave you to your apparent superiority and loneliness.

He doesn’t. You grow together, and sometimes it is painful, but it is always worth it.

You owe a lot to Sakuraba. Thanks to him, you played football. Football gives you something you never had before: belonging. You met Coach, Takami, Wakana, Otowara, and all the others that share your drive and don’t look at your passion like it is something strange. They become near and dear to you like family. 

For six months, you also think Sakuraba is the reason you met Kobayakawa Sena. 

—-

It’s not until you train Sena as his personal coach when you realize that you met years ago as children.

“We, um, ran past each other once,” Sena says sheepishly while the two of you are resting. “You probably don’t remember.”

And then you remember a boy, shorter than you but around your age, turning a corner wickedly fast just as you’re doing the same. He apologized for almost crashing into you even though you both would have been at fault.

You stared at that boy after you caught up to the car to return a dropped coin to its owner. He dashed off to catch up to his friend (Kaitani Riku, your mind supplies later), throwing you a stare over his shoulder, too.

“I remember now,” you say to Sena, who smiles despite himself. You’re secretly pleased, too, that he remembered you. “Thirty more seconds, and then we go again.”

Sena nods. He never complains once during training. He is eager for it, hungry, even. You are, too: nobody can match your speed but him.

Literally speaking, in the square run, you chase Sena and he chases you, but it never feels that way. Somehow, you know that you are the hunter and he is your prey. Your goal is to catch him; it always has been.

You manage it, once. One practice, near the end, when Sena is low on stamina, he slows just barely. You catch him then, and you tumble to the ground. With the speed you’re going, you both hit the ground hard.

“Oof,” Sena says. 

You get off of him quickly and offer him your hand. 

“You got me,” Sena admits.

“You’re getting tired. But you’re not at your limit yet. Let’s keep going,” you say. 

“Right,” Sena says, getting in position.

“But I did get you,” you say, just before Duboroku blows the whistle for you to start again.

Sena hears you. There’s a glint in his eye. That’s what you were hoping for.

Soon, you’re on your stomach, and Sena’s small frame is on top of you this time.

“Should we call it a tie?” Sena asks as he offers you his hand. Practice is coming to a close.

“I have some time if you want to go again,” you offer.

Sena gulps. He’s obviously tired, but determined. You get in position again.

“You kids,” Duboroku sighs. You’re gathering a crowd now, with curious students passing by and the other players coming to watch as they finish for the day. “Ready?”

Duboroku blows the whistle. You run.

“Go Sena!” says Raimon Taro, shamelessly cheering. The other Deimon players join in.

“Bet you Shin takes this one,” you hear Otowara say to Sakuraba and Takami.

“Sena’s looking pretty good,” Sakuraba remarks. 

You stumble for a millisecond before righting yourself. A millisecond later, you’re face down in the dirt again.

Cheers erupt from the Deimon players. You feel Sena laugh against you.

He gets up and gives you his hand, pulling you up with considerable effort before stumbling himself. He catches himself before you get a chance to.

“Two to one,” Sena says, happy and exhausted.

Duboroku declares practice over and threatens to throw you out of Deimon’s field if you don’t go home.

The players pack it up for the day. Ojo is waiting for you to take the train home together.

“Go ask him!” someone whispers. It’s Taki Suzuna. 

“No, I, I shouldn’t,” Sena whispers back.

“Go on!” Raimon doesn’t bother to whisper. You turn around in time to see him shove Sena towards you. Kaitani’s with them, too, watching you with steady eyes.

“Um, uh,” Sena stutters. “Shin-san, I was wondering... if you’d like to get dinner with us? We’re getting ramen... there’s a place nearby that’s pretty good.”

Sena’s hand cups the back of his head, his shoulders are drawn up towards his ears, and his cheeks are flushed a pleasant shade of pink. You like to think that you know Eyeshield 21 better than anyone, but you are completely unprepared to deal with Kobayakawa Sena. 

You don’t know how to deal with this completely normal thing, because, damn you, you are different. And so, you say:

“I don’t eat food like that on a weekday.”

After you say that, it feels like the earth quiets down so that it can hear what Sena says next:

“Oh. Yeah. Right. Of course. Um. Okay. Okay, then. Th-thanks anyway! Um, for practice and stuff. Um.”

He stares at you then, lost for words, eyes wide and suddenly vulnerable. You are hypnotized and speechless.

Then the moment passes.

“Bye!” Sena says, voice cracking. He turns and runs away back to his three friends, whose faces all make very clear that you just made a huge mistake. Sena doesn’t look back as they walk away.

“Shin!” Sakuraba calls out. “You okay? What did Sena want?” Sakuraba asks when you reach the others. 

Takami and Otowara have similar looks of curiosity. You conclude that they didn’t overhear.

“He... asked if I wanted to eat ramen with him,” you say.

“Doesn’t he know that you don’t eat that kind of stuff?” Otowara asks.

You don’t answer. You all walk to the train station. Takami changes the conversation to Wakana’s love life, an easy target for Otowara to latch onto. 

“Hey, you okay?” Sakuraba asks when it’s just the two of you left on the train.

You suddenly have an irrational jealousy towards Sakuraba. He would have said the right thing to Kobayakawa Sena. He wouldn’t have been so... different.

“Look, just... if you want to hang out with Sena, ask him to do something you both like. Like jogging or something,” Sakuraba says, shrugging at the end. He’s not quite sure what you like other than football.

“It’s fine,” you say. 

You come home before your parents do. Both your parents have worked late nights to make ends meet since you were a kid.

You set your things down in their usual places. The kitchen is your domain. You prepare dinner for three, but you only set the table for yourself. Your parents will eat the rest when they come home.

Brown rice, fish, vegetables, and fruit comprise your perfectly balanced meal. 

You finish your dinner, but you feel dissatisfied. You wash up and go to bed early.

Kobayakawa Sena once asked your advice about his size. You remember giving him some nutritional advice. His metabolism is high, so if there’s any time for him to eat a bowl of ramen, heavy in carbs and fat, it’s now.

His light frame can afford to put on muscle without compromising his speed. He’s still growing, which is obvious to anyone. He grew during the fall tournament. You could tell the difference by looking and by feel when you tackled him in your game.

The gear you both wear during a game makes any contact impersonal. You don’t really know what Kobayakawa Sena feels like. You’ve only imagined during long, fitful nights like these.

—-

The next practice with Deimon is awkward. Even you can tell. Sena doesn’t say much and avoids eye contact. You never say much on a regular day and even less now.

Duboroku doesn’t comment at first. He blows his whistle, and you run. You and Sena go around and around, neither catching up to the other, until Duboroku blows his whistle again to signal the end of the bout.

You repeat this twice before Duboroku scolds you.

“What’s wrong with you guys? Focus! The game is on Sunday, remember?”

You look at Sena and catch him staring. He looks away quickly, mumbling an apology.

Duboroku blows the whistle again. You do better this time, but it’s not your best.

Practice ends. You haven’t said a word to Sena at all today. You don’t know what to say. Sena can barely look at you. 

Sakuraba and Takami come over, ready to go. 

“Shin, ready?” asks Takami.

You nod at him but don’t move. 

Say something, you think to yourself. 

“Shin-san,” Sena says. “Th-thank you.”

“Of course,” you say. 

“Sena, you done?” It’s Raimon, who finished, too. “Riku says there’s a taiyaki place you guys used to go to,” he says with petty jealousy in his voice.

“I told him it wasn’t a big deal,” Kaitani says, rolling his eyes. 

“I want to go,” Taki Suzuna says. “Let’s go!”

“Sena, get changed,” Kaitani says, but for whatever reason, he’s looking at you.

“Right,” Sena says. 

“Sena,” you say, trying to get a word in at the same time he says your name.

“Um. I didn’t mean to...” Sena trails off, embarrassed. “I don’t want things to be weird between us. We don’t have to hang out or anything.”

You can tell he isn’t lying, but he’s not telling the whole truth either. You realize it’s because he’s trying to protect you.

“I’m... I’m sorry. I forgot that you’re… pretty careful about what you eat,” Sena says.

You realize that it’s not about the ramen or the fact that you’re different. He knows you’re different, because who doesn’t, but that’s not important to him.

What a fool you are. 

And his friends know it. They can’t take it anymore, and Raimon and Taki Suzuna grab one of Sena’s arms each and start dragging him off. Kaitani stares at you with naked disappointment. 

“Sena,” you say, trying to get a word in.

Raimon and Taki Suzuna stop. 

“Would you... would you like to go jogging with me?”

Sena, face craned over his shoulder comically, shakes his friends off. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. Um. Maybe after... the Christmas Bowl? Like… Tuesday?”

“Yeah,” you say. “Sounds good.”

“Great,” Sena says, face breaking into a smile that warms you to the toes. “Meet you by the sports equipment store?” 

“Okay.”

Sena waves goodbye to you and walks off with his friends. You go to yours, now including Otowara, who have been waiting patiently.

“Nice,” Sakuraba says. 

“Took long enough,” Takami adds.

Otowara looks clueless. You know he’ll tell Wakana everything so she can make sense of it for him.

You don’t care.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
